T - 24 hours ... a few helpful links

SO can I start by saying I'm officially petrified? Yes, I'll admit it....I was fine up until about 10 minutes ago when I was like "yes, I need to blog today about my feelings towards tomorrow"...then it dawned on me...I only have one feeling: Pure terror. I've never committed myself to something this drastic. I'm having doubts that I can do this...that I'm capable of giving up the things I've used as crutches for so long. I'm very emotional today...to think of how I got where I am right now, what I've been through to bring me to where I am right now, & where this possibly will take me. It's all very overwhelming. Knowing what the outcome of this "feast" will be and how my life will change is very overwhelming...but in a good way. I didn't get where I am overnight...and I know I can't change overnight. Still, 92 days is an awful lot of time to give anything. 92 days of juices. 92 days of no chewing. 92 days of no digestion. 92 days of fruits & veggies. 92 days of watching those around me bite into juicy, medium-rare steak while I slurp down a green juice.  Yes, can you see why I'm terrified? I have been preparing for this for weeks...some prepare months. Emotionally I'm ready, physically I'm ready, I think I'm allowed a mini-breakdown before it all starts.

Detox scares me....they say it happens between Day 1-Day 7. Usually only a few days...but you feel like Death warmed over. Yay, how fun is that?! It's like spring cleaning going on in there....nutrients from the juice start nourishing your body, releasing old toxins into your bloodstream. Read about "The Healing Crisis" here. This site is one of my faves for information...it holds a ton of it. Take a look around :) 

I could ramble all day about how nervous I am. I was trying to think of the reasons I'm doing this again and came up with a few:

1. To prove to myself that I am capable of will-power.

2. To prove to myself that I am stronger than I think I am.

3. To improve my clarity & sense of self.

4. To improve my overall health & wellness.

5. To jump start a new lifestyle, be it vegan, raw, or just a modified diet.

6. To find my confidence & self-esteem. 

7. Lastly, my children. They deserve more than this mommy has given them. 

The losing weight part is a cool perk, although I won't be focused on it 100%. I am mainly focused on how I feel during...they say it's life changing. They say your mental clarity is unlike no other feeling you've ever felt. Testimonies I've read say your focus & energy are unsurpassed by anything you've ever felt. I want that. I DESERVE that. The weight is a perk. I know it will melt off at first, mainly because I have a lot to lose. SO I'm putting my stats out there...I'll weigh-in weekly....inches monthly....symptoms/recipes/amounts of juice/water will be recorded daily. If there is any other info you are wanting to know, just let me know...I'll try to include it all so you can get a true-life experience from this as well. 

Stats:

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 363lbs 

Blood Pressure: 131/92 (almost high, if not slightly)

Cholesterol: 202mg/dL (200mg/dL is normal, this is slightly high-risk)

Pulse: 101 avg resting (WAY too elevated) 

Haven't taken measurements today so I'll post those tomorrow, if not at my 1wk stat report. I know you're probably thinking "OMG, how did she let herself get that bad"....and honestly, I don't have an answer....I just did. I just didn't care or realize how much I should have cared. I'm going to need all the love & support I can get for this...as it's a major lifestyle jump for me...or anyone for that matter. I've seen drastic results & although I'm not hinging this on having the same results, I've seen testimonies of 100s of lbs lost in short months. Call it unhealthy if you want, but it's not. I've been medically cleared to do this & am supported by my Dr to do so. She compared it to gastric-bypass & they drop the same amount of weight. Now, taking care of yourself afterwards is where the unhealthy comes in (in my opinion). You have to be willing to keep up with your lifestyle change, you can't just start eating what you've always eaten. That defeats the whole purpose of this. I am going to heal....heal myself, my body, my spirit, my life. I'm excitedly terrified. Join me, be my cheerleaders.....after all, I'm sure you'd look hotter in the skirts than I would....at least for now :) 

I know I've repeated myself a few times this morning...but, my brain is totally running crazy. Thanks for indulging me :) Until tomorrow.....